THE RELENTLESS PROJECT

Exploring Life after Child Sexual Abuse

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  • S1 E5: Pacing Your Journey (The Survivor’s Toolbox)
  • S1E4: Acknowledging and respecting where you are in this journey now (A Deep Reflection)
  • Survivor Conversation 001: Maranda’s Story
  • R1E6: Crisis Mode (Rambles Series)
  • R1E5: Sharing Your Story (Rambles Series)

 

 

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I wish all survivors and our allies a peaceful hol I wish all survivors and our allies a peaceful holiday season: a safe space, a warm blanket, great music, a bubble bath, a great meal or dessert, and/or good company. For some of us, this season can bring up a lot of dark challenges. It can often feel like a massive obstacle course for our willpower and boundaries. Sometimes, it can be absolutely triggering for our traumatic experiences. I see you---and I can absolutely relate. On a personal note, this year resurfaced significant triggering challenges for me. My painful past made a strong comeback a few times, and I struggled with my own perception of progress. This is normal to the process, but terrifying when it does. Having other human beings into the mix (my partner, colleagues, less-desireable folks), and everyday responsibilities added to the complication and stress, but I do have a lot to thank for. I hope ya'll have found your people...friends, children, pets, etc, and have taken stock of how much your toolbox has grown. Because that matters, no matter how big you feel you've stumbled. We are people, and should allow ourselves to be people, and to grow. And what is growing, without the painful challenging parts? With that, I'll share a charming Ted Lasso quote I thought was very relevant: "The truth will set you free, but first, it will piss you off." - - - In light of my own mental and emotional health, I haven't been as active as I thought I would have been...but I do intend to continue as much as my well-being allows (on my schedule) until I get to the point I can continue podcasting again. Thank you for your continued support, and I hope that you all are doing alright 🙏❤️❄️. Here is a picture of the safe space I made for myself, my partner, and my dog this year. Have a good holiday season ❤️.
Finding therapy can be a real challenge. It can be Finding therapy can be a real challenge. It can be stressful and nerve-wracking, but you are absolutely worth the search. Access to therapy varies from state to state (city to city), but online options are finally (hopefully) bridging that gap just a little bit more. These are some helpful pointers to keep in mind when you're looking for one. Other pointers when you finally find the right person to connect to: 👉 It's helpful (but not necessary) to have an idea of what you want to be able to achieve in therapy 👉 Therapy is a tool to help facilitate your thoughts and feelings in relationship to your life experience --- it's a two way relationship to make progress, and it requires serious commitment to yourself 👉 It's okay to figure out in the middle that your needs have changed, or that you and your therapist are not a good fit. Be open about it, it'll be okay ❤️. Can you think of other pointers that are helpful? Leave a comment below! 🙏👇👇 . . . . . . . . . . #survivingtrauma #mentalhealth #healing #intersectionality #therapy #selflove #metoomovement #illustration #procreate #procreateart #empowerment #selfleadership #artistsoninstagram #digitalillustrator
It's snowing humongo snowflakes outside and it's s It's snowing humongo snowflakes outside and it's such a peaceful way to spend a morning and afternoon. It has been a week full of hustle and bustle, and it feels good to recenter, draw, and work on TRP again 🙃🌨️. I've been playing with my creative side with drawing and creative journaling, and it's sparked new ideas and flourished current ones. My year's goal was to create and live from a place of abundance...to nourish myself so that I can continue to give more in multiple places. So far it's been going well ❄️🙏. . . . . . . . . #vimeovideo #winter #artistsway
Choosing a "why" to prioritize YOU should be done Choosing a "why" to prioritize YOU should be done often...daily, weekly, monthly. Your "why," or your personal intention, might change --- but ultimately, it's because you are worth living and experiencing life at the fullest spectrum. Own the space you take. You belong here 💛. #therelentlessproject #podcastersofinstagram #mentalhealth #selflove #healingfromtrauma #MeToo
I am still astonished by how peaceful it is to wat I am still astonished by how peaceful it is to watch snow fall. The slower things in the everyday remind me living is not just the things I do for others. It’s also the little and big stuff I do for myself...like the simple act of popping my head out the window to hear and feel the cold wind. Did you know that snow close up actually looks like the way people draw snowflakes?! That was wild. 🥶🥰
In between grad school work and personal time, I'v In between grad school work and personal time, I've been working on an upcoming episode that includes a portion about boundaries 🌱. Boundaries aren't selfish, they are a cornerstone in protecting your mental and emotional energy🪖🧠🫀. If you grew up in a culture or family like mine, boundaries didn't exist. My "energy field" merged into those of others, and I didn't know where I began, and where I ended 🥴. Their problems were my problems, their sorrow was my sorrow, their anguish was my anguish...so on and so forth. As a result, my happiness and wellbeing was dependent on the happiness and wellbeing of others. Sometimes I didn't know if I was warm and kind because I wanted to, or because it was the only way I survived in an unpredictable home 🌊🌀🌋. I was the messenger, the problem-solver, the unconditional patient ear 👂. It wasn't until I burned out within the past year that I realized boundaries were something I needed to establish in every relationship, no matter how intimate. I redefined who "Joanna" was/is and defined which boundaries I needed to protect her creativity and her work 🌼🤺. I learned how to be my own best friend. I've also learned to say "no," in a multitude of ways, but most importantly, I've learned that saying "no" to things, situations, and people that only take my mental/emotional energy, allows me to pour myself in my passion projects and professional responsibilities 🎨🖌️🖍️🎸🎧🎙️. 👉Recognizing that your time and energy is a finite resource that needs careful management, will provide you with the abundance you need in places you want it.❤️👈 #selfcare #mentalhealth #inspiration #boundaries #procreateillustration #procreate #survivingsexualtrauma #survivingtrauma #survivingcsptsd #selflove #therelentlessproject #artistsway #bardotbrushes
🎉New episode live 🥰🤩! Join in as we navig 🎉New episode live 🥰🤩! Join in as we navigate what it means to take healing from sexual trauma “at your own pace.” Taking trauma at your own pace can seem like an abstract concept if you’re used to constantly overloaded 🥵😣.  👉Healing at the best pace for you depending on where you are in life can prevent things like burnout, which can ripple into other places of your life.  👉When you’re first starting out, it might feel like opening a spring-loaded box that you’ve spent so many years trying to keep closed. This is why it’s important to take your journey in small intervals, in doses that are best for you in the current lifestyle that you live.  In this episode, we’ll break down pacing, and what this might look like for YOU. ⚠️If you are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255 or RAINN's hotline 1-800-656-4673. There are also numerous resources on the website that include online chat hotlines. You are not alone. ⚠️I am not a trained therapist or counselor. This is a free resource using literature and nonprofit resources available online, dedicated to a community of survivors. If you are able, finding therapy or counseling can be a valuable component to healing from sexual assault/abuse. Visit www.relentlesspodcast.com for detailed timestamps. Leave support, questions, and comments on this instagram post, or through a private message to this handle @relentlessjoanna
🔈New episode is live!🔈 🥳 Join in for a de 🔈New episode is live!🔈 🥳 Join in for a deep reflection. The first step to creating meaningful change is to acknowledge where we stand in our path at this very moment ☮️. This episode is split into four categories that are separate but interlinked: Considerations of the 🧠mind, 👤spirit, 🏠self-sustainment, and the 🧑🏾‍🦼👩‍🦯🏃‍♀️body. Visit www.relentlesspodcast.com for detailed 📝timestamps, a free 📄printable to help you walk through this reflection, and a 📄printable resource for Grounding Techniques and an Emotions Reference Sheet from The Therapist’s Aid LLC. 🤔 What speaks the most for you? Which things do you react strongly to? Respect and be patient with the process. Where you are at this very moment is exactly where you need to be. 😊🙏Let me know what you think about the printable Reflection Guide from the blog post! It took a considerable amount of time, but I thought it would be incredibly helpful for such an involved reflection. It made me think about the possibilities of making Survivor’s Toolbox workbook, complete with artwork, diagrams, and space to write in...🤔 📌If you are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255 or RAINN's hotline 1-800-656-4673. There are also numerous resources on the website that include online chat hotlines. You are not alone. 📌I am not a trained therapist or counselor. This is a free resource using literature and nonprofit resources available online, dedicated to a community of survivors. If you are able, finding therapy or counseling can be a valuable component to healing from sexual assault/abuse. 📌Visit www.relentlesspodcast.com for detailed timestamps. Leave support, questions, and comments on this post on this post, or through a private message to this instagram account. #survivingchildsexualabuse #survivingsexualtrauma #metoomovement #thesurvivorstoolbox #therelentlessproject #procreate #illustration #podcastersofig #podcastersofinstagram #healingfromtrauma #healingfromsexualtrauma
If you don't know me in person, I have an obsessio If you don't know me in person, I have an obsession for pens, highlighters stationary in general 😍🥰 🖌️🖍️🎨🖊️🖋️📔📑📖. Working on episodes for the Survivor's Toolbox is very cerebral 🧠, and I want to make sure that I use credible literature, studies, and resources when I share information. So sifting through information takes patience, and a myriad of colors and my favorite highlighters 🌈, post-its, and matcha lattes (yummy) 🍵☕. My mentor called me a rainbow learner, and he wasn't wrong 🤷🏻‍♀️. Stay tuned for another episode release this weekend, where I'll guide through the fourth tool: "Acknowledging and respecting where you are in this journey now" (it's a mouthful of a title 😅). It's a very involved reflection that I'm making a free printable for to use, based on the research I'm doing for the episode. Have a wonderful rest of the week 🙃🤸🌼🌻. #survivingsexualabuse #survivingsexualassault #survivingchildsexualabuse #therelentlessproject #metoomovement #breakthesilence #stationary #podcastersofig #podcastersofinstagram
Just a friendly reminder that each episode comes w Just a friendly reminder that each episode comes with detailed timestamps on the website www.relentlesspodcast.com 🙃. Have a good Monday 🤓🥰. #therelentlessproject #relentlessproject #metoomovement #survivingsexualtrauma #survivingchildsexualabuse #podcastersofinstagram #podcastersofig #procreate #procreateillustration
Our first interview is live 🥳. [Trigger Warning Our first interview is live 🥳. [Trigger Warning: Episode content includes experiences of child sexual abuse] Join me with Maranda as she shares her journey as a child sexual abuse survivor for the first time with the Relentless Project 🎧🎤❤️. Maranda (@marandaawilliams ) is 29 years old and hails from Kentucky. She is a vibrant, loving Momma to two beautiful boys 👩‍👧‍👦, and a warrior through and through ⚔️. Maranda leads life with a gold heart 💛 and an iron fist 💪. She shares about how she's grown up in an unpredictable home, and how she's been able to finally break free from a history of recurrent child sexual abuse at the age of 8. Everytime I replayed this episode during the editing phase, I would get chills from her bravery. She is a survivor sharing her story to fight the stigmas behind victims of sexual assault, and to remind survivors that they are not alone. If you feel like you are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255 or RAINN's hotline 1-800-656-4673. I have also listed numerous resources on my website that include online chat hotlines. You do not have to go through this alone. Please note that I am not a trained therapist or counselor. This podcast is a free resource using existing literature and nonprofit resources available online, dedicated to a community of sexual assault survivors. If you are able, finding therapy or counseling is a valuable component to healing from sexual assault/abuse. For detailed episode timestamps, visit www.relentlesspodcast.com. Leave your support, questions, and comments on our Instagram @relentlessjoanna.
Jonathan is the absolute bestest for helping me ma Jonathan is the absolute bestest for helping me master my episodes. He's the 🧠 behind the sound magic, and I couldn't be doing this without him 🤸. Editing takes hours 🕛🕧🕐🕜, and thanks to Jon's gifted ears and skills, I can focus on the content-making portion of the project 😭❤️🙏. In the next 30 minutes I'm releasing our first interview on the project, a conversation I had with Maranda months ago when Jon and I JUST moved to the East Coast. She rekindled a spark I thought I lost through personal burnout, and it was an incredible conversation. Last night Jon and I stayed up until about 1:30am to finish mastering the interview. It's a whopping 1 hour and 22 minute episode, and every minute is worth a listen. Stay tuned! 🙏🎼🎧 #relentlessproject #survivingchildsexualabuse #survivingsexualtrauma #podcasting #podcastersofinstagram #metoomovement #survivingsexualabuse
Wishing you a Happy New Year from my home to yours Wishing you a Happy New Year from my home to yours. I decided to end the year doing something I love doing the most...getting lost in the trees of a hiking trail, and trying to find my way back home. I cut it close this time while the sun was setting 😅...my poor sense of direction challenges me to live life on the edge, every single time 🧭. I was worried I'd have to walk down dark streets of unknown neighborhoods to make it back 🤦🏻‍♀️. But I made it, and I found this beautiful little man-made fountain at the end of my trail, adorned with the words "Peace Now" on it ❤️. I almost didn't leave the apartment that day, but I'm glad that I did. Sometimes I slip into that mode where I'm waiting for someone or something, and forget that I can do things for myself when I need to. I needed this artist's date out in nature 🏞️. It lasted for half a day (I took the wrong bus to my destination), but it was so worth it. It got my heart🫀pumping for more reasons than one, and I was able to hike up and down trails next to a gorgeous river while the sun set. Each hike teaches me something new each time. This one taught me to enjoy every moment while I can, even when I get lost and don't know where I'm going 🤸. As cliché as it sounds: Not all who wander are lost 🪵🪨. Much like the respective healing paths we take as survivors...of which take quite a bit of trial and error 😬😂💕. I hope you have a wonderful year ahead❤️. Live fully, and don't wait for your moments. Make them, take them, no matter what 🌱. Stay Relentless. #sexualabuseawareness #sexualabusesurvivor #mentalhealth #chilsexualabuseawareness #childsexualabusesurvivor
I wish you a warm holiday season from my little fa I wish you a warm holiday season from my little family (Jon, me & Maeby 🐾) to yours. I hope you find comfort in everything, regardless of size or significance. Find some peace in stillness, reach out to those who bring wholeness to your life. For some of us, this holiday season may be challenging for more reasons than one. I hope and pray that there is light somewhere in your day, and for better days to come. This year has been an awakening for many of us and about who and what we hold dear. Whether we like it or not, we've become more introspective about the lives we lead. Many of the people and things we've wrapped ourselves around may not be here anymore, or not for now. It's okay to feel pain, it's okay to feel empty, it's okay to be angry this holiday season if these are the feelings you hold. Hold on to hope, hold on to love, and find a way to love yourself if you haven't done so already. Today's festivities are much more downscaled today, but we are thankful for music, coffee, time, and space. I hope you are safe, and I hope you are well. Love, Joanna
Celebrating the completion of my first semester of Celebrating the completion of my first semester of grad school with a renewed energy and focus this winter break 🌨️❄️! (Don't mind me rats nest of a hairdo 😂) Here's a snapshot of the most time consuming, less glamorous part of the process --- cutting ✂️, editing 🖍️ (luckily I leave mastering to Jon). Many times I'll listen to an episode at least three times over, constantly rewinding and listening to different parts 🎧🎛️. This piece I do with the most respect. Maranda's the first person that I'll have ever interviewed on the podcast, and her voice and story hold so much strength 🙏. We interviewed right after I moved to the East Coast, with almost no gear...so my audio is a bit rough 😩, but hers is crystal clear, and I'm so thankful I shared this time with her ❤️. I can't wait to share this woman's courage and determination with you. Thank you @marandaawilliams for sharing your story with me, and with the project 🌱! #survivingchildsexualabuse #metoomovement #survivingtrauma #podcastersofig #podcastersofinstagram #logic #moodlighting #winterprojects
Just wanted to take a moment to say Thank You, for Just wanted to take a moment to say Thank You, for sharing this space with me. I wish you a safe and Happy Thanksgiving. The holidays used to be much more difficult for me to celebrate, but thanks to my closest friends and my fiancé, I've been able to celebrate them in my own, peaceful, joyful way. Years ago, my fondest Thanksgiving memory was surfing different dinner parties. It was a different time (sans pandemic), and I decided that I would take the holiday into my own hands. I didn't want to sit down feeling captive and pretending to be happy in the house I was abused in. My closest two friends and I ventured to different extended family/family friend/friend Thanksgivings together like siblings, laughing and feasting on turkey and different types of pie. Pumpkin was my favorite. They reminded me that if you gave yourself the chance, you could make something terrifying into something much sweeter, and pleasant. If this speaks to you, I hope you find peace and safety today. Take the courage to explore the different ways you can make the holidays your own. I send you peace today, and wish you good healing. #survivingsexualtrauma #childsexualabusesurvivor #sexualabusesurvivor #cptsdrecovery #mentalhealth #thanksgiving #bardotbrushes #bardotbrush
New episode is LIVE 🥳! Long and awaited. Again, New episode is LIVE 🥳! Long and awaited. Again, here are 6 Steps to help manage a mental crisis. For detailed timestamps, visit www.relentlesspodcast.com If you have any questions let or comments, feel free to leave them in this instagram post, or to drop me a DM 🙆🏻‍♀️. Thank you for your patience. It's wonderful to be back 🙃. #relentlessproject
Upcoming Episode 🎧: How to manage a mental cris Upcoming Episode 🎧: How to manage a mental crisis, or "Crisis Mode" as I call it. I'll go through 6 actionable steps to help manage a mental crisis: 1: Re-Evaluate 🤹: What am I juggling now? 2. Re-Prioritize 🧐: What do I absolutely need to get done, what can I pause, snip, delegate? 3. Simplify ✂️: Reduce your responsibility to BELOW your usual abilities 4. Make a Few Goals 📝: A few tangible ones, and establish halfway-point markers for those goals 5. Reflect 📖🖋️: Reflect your progress on a daily basis. What would you do different? What would you do again? Have you made progress toward your goals? 6. Replenish 🌬️: Take up slow hobbies, or things that give you energy. This is not selfish, this is necessary. - - - I am excited to be back with a new episode 🥳! I've been working on the podcast quite a bit...a different rhythm and pace, but a better mindset to provide to this community that I care so deeply about. I have decided to release episodes at a slower frequency, with a focus on quality versus quantity, and to stay involved with my Instagram page through introspection. Don't forget, I put a whole lot of effort in time-stamping my episodes in great detail...if this will be helpful for you, visit www.relentlesspodcast.com #survivingtrauma #survivingchildsexualabuse #metoomovement #metoo #relentlessproject #managingmentalcrisis #mentalhealth
🚨Spotlight Saturday: Unexpected Mindfulness Too 🚨Spotlight Saturday: Unexpected Mindfulness Tool🚨 Playing games is one of my favorite ways to spend time in between personal projects and grad school. I'll play alone, or sometimes with Jon. It can be something incredibly complicated like this, or even simple like Bananagrams. There's scientific literature that suggests that playing strategy boardgames can help with memory🧠, logic 🤓, creativity 🖌️, and can help you forge bonds with others 🧐📃📊. For myself, I find all this to be true...but I also find it a great tool to practice mindfulness. It's also a wonderful healthy and fun antidote for when I get into episodes of overthinking 🥴. What are your favorite games to play? #cptsdrecovery #childsexualabusesurvivor #boardgames #agricola
Social anxiety, especially in regard to my own tra Social anxiety, especially in regard to my own trauma, is something that I still navigate with some internal challenges. I know it's odd, considering that this platform I share is all about learning how to live with your truth, and that I've shared my background with others here (albeit, without detail). In person, I am much more cautious about bringing up the Relentless Project in casual conversation with new people. It helps me avoid the "How did you start?" Or "Why did you start?" questions. I am an introvert, mostly taking comfort in sharing my ideas and thoughts with a trusted few people. So I felt conflicted when my fiancé so sweetly shared my podcast with others at a local outdoor bar with a few people. He didn't share details, just mentioned that it was something that I've pursued. He was proud that I started recording again. He invited me down to meet a couple new people, and naturally, my new acquaintances asked about the project. It put me in an odd situation, because I just finished recording an episode. It takes mental and emotional focus and energy to create from a vulnerable place, and I preferred to reflect and work on other types of art or music after recording. I didn't expect the question, so I didn't have time to prepare myself. I realized that I could have lied, but the Relentless Project is something that I felt like shouldn't be hidden. So without getting into detail, I shared what the Relentless Project was for, what it was about. There was a bit of an awkward pause...one that I was kind of anticipating, but couldn't decide if I regretted sharing something that can be taken as pretty depressing, especially for a first conversation. I later told Jon how I felt, and he apologized. He could tell that I was pretty upset, it felt awkward because the other two left as soon as I shared that information. I later found out that one of them, was likely a survivor (or maybe exposed to that type of trauma). He found my fiancé at the bar, and told him that he was crying. It was dark, we couldn't see it. (Continued in comments)
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