S1E2: Taking a Moment to Honor Yourself (Tool #1 of the The Survivor’s Toolbox)

S1E2: Taking a Moment to Honor Yourself (Tool #1 of the Survivor’s Toolbox)

Season 1 Episode 2

Ladies and Gentlemen, the second episode of the series, where we’ll explore the different ways we may have coped as a result of the trauma. Some of these will be more relatable to you than others.

While today we are just acknowledging what we needed to do to survive, I understand that some of us may not be ready to hear all of this at once.

If you feel like you are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255 or RAINN’s hotline 1-800-656-4673. I have also listed numerous resources that also include online chat hotlines. You do not have to go through this alone.

Timestamps:

00:00 – 2:50 Introduction
00:18 – 0:43 Overview of The Survivor’s Toolbox
04:15 – 05:20 The resources I’ll be using
05:24 – 08:26 Jeanette’s Introduction
08:26 – 32:42 Immediate and Latent (Late) effects of CSA according to Courage to Heal
- 08:48 – 12:48 Coping Mechanisms
  - 08:48 – 09:21 Denial
  - 09:22 – 09:40 Minimizing
  - 09:42 – 10:11 Forgetting
  - 10:12 – 10:46 Presenting a facade to the world
  - 10:47 – 11:44 Humor (Correction, sometimes…humor can be used in a harmful way toward the survivor, and toward others)
  - 11:45 – 12:22 Dissociation
  - 12:23 – 12:48 Spacing Out
- 12:49 – 13:29 Coping Mechanisms over the years (personal experience)
- 13:30 – Latent Effects of CSA / How CSA Can Affect Us Later
  - 13:30 – 15:59 Self-Protection Strategies
    - 13:30 – 14:35 Avoidance of People
    - 14:36 – 15:38 Avoidance of Intimacy
    - 15:39 – 15:59 Avoidance of Sex
  - 16:00 – 24:06 Maintenance of Control
    - 17:05 – 18:08 Hyper-vigilance or Hyperawareness
    - 18:09 – 21:23 The Regaining of Power Disempowering Others
    - 21:53 – 22:44 Safety at Any Price
    - 22:45 – 24:06 Seeking Safety in Religion
  - 24:07 – 26:07 Escape by Any Means
    - 25:23 – 26:07 Distraction Versus Avoidance
  - 26:08 – 32:42 Addictions, Compulsions, Self-Destructive Behavior (with Jeanette)
    - Addictions
    - Sexual Addition
    - Anorexia and Bulimia
    - Compulsive Eating
    - Excessive Business or Workaholism
    - Stealing
    - Self-Harm
Immediate and Latent (Late) effects of CSA according to RAACE.org (not all covered in the episode)
- 32:43 – 38:41 Revictimization (with Jeanette)
- Flashbacks
- Low Esteem or Self-Hatred
- Depression
- Self-Directed Guilt, Shame, or Blame
- Sleep Disturbances or Disorders
- Lack of Trust
38:41 – 39:40 What to do with all this information
39:40 – 45:48 Finding Therapy
45:49 – 53:10 When a therapist isn’t working out for you
53:09 – 54:30 Take Care of Yourself
54:30 – 1:09:13 Self-Regulation versus Self-Care
1:09:14 – 1:13:53 Mindfulness

Homework:

Find a Place to Write it Down: Find a place where you can safely write about this healing process. While this can be a blog, I suggest a private journal. Find one you especially like.
Write It Down: Acknowledge and take account of the things you’ve had to do to survive up until now. When have you used these coping mechanisms?
Write a Letter of Gratitude to Yourself: You have done everything you could in the circumstances you had to SURVIVE. You didn’t know any other way. I challenge you to sit down, and write a letter to yourself, thanking your previous self for bringing you here today. Damaged or still hurting, you are still here, breathing, alive…and that’s all because you did everything you could to survive.
Nourish Yourself: Do a handful of things that feed your soul (no limit here)
- Have your favorite meal
- Have a warm relaxing bath
- Reach out to a friend
- Have a relaxing long drive to somewhere beautiful

Lastly, Is there anything that I’ve missed? If you have the time, I would appreciate it if you helped me make this the best for you, and leave an honest comment :).

Until next time…Stay Relentless.

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